Trump Make America Great Again Criticism

Donald Trump & Melania (Courtesy of Boss Tweed via flickr)

I've noticed lately that people aren't very good at handling criticism, even when they've asked for it.

Our natural tendency when given advice or criticism is to go defensive and upset. We endeavour to convince the person they're wrong (or at to the lowest degree to run into it from our perspective) which, ironically, has the exact opposite of the intended effect.

Know what the single most effective fashion is to disarm criticism?Agree with it.

You can imagine some common situations where this might come up…

• You're making a presentation at work and subsequently someone asks a "hostile" question which challenges you in front end of everyone.
• You're selling your auto and a potential buyer comments that the color or condition is really not to their liking.
• A friend/mentor/family unit member tries to offer you some honest feedback which you feel is totally unwarranted.

Most people volition react to all of these in a like mode: a defensive and reactive position.  You tin immediately see it in their eyes: it is an emotional response and they go upset.

• "Actually I made the chart that manner on purpose.  I included the actress data because information technology's important to the overall message and the other people I showed information technology to didn't think information technology detracted from the presentation at all."
• "Really, you don't like the color?  That's strange considering I get compliments on it all the fourth dimension.  It'due south hard to detect this color actually, it's a rare commodity."
• "What exercise you lot mean I'k not focused?  I work actually hard.  I mean but because I'm doing those two things doesn't mean I can't put all my effort into it!"

In each of these cases, accept y'all convinced the person of your point of view?  Most likely the answer is no.  In fact, you take further reinforced their original conventionalities in their own mind.  If you could spell out the internal dialog going on in their heads information technology would be something like this:

• "Woa!  I guess I striking a nerve with that one.  SOMEBODY tin't have advice…non only does the chart suck just he/she is in denial well-nigh it, prissy!"
• "Great…you love the color idiot.  You're not buying it, I am, and I'm losing involvement by the second considering y'all're starting to annoy me."
• "Geez…I guess I won't bring that upwardly once again.  It's a shame because nosotros've all know this about John for years…it'southward obvious to all of us but nosotros just can't seem to get it through to him.  Maybe if a few more of usa mention it."

There is an of import dominion behind all of this that I'd like you to remember:

The more than defensive you lot become, the more probable that the person criticizing you is actually right!

Actually…call up about information technology for a moment.  What if someone came upwards to yous and said "Your proper noun is Bubba Gump".  Would this upset you?  Since your name is obviously Non Bubba Gump, this is a ridiculous accusation and the chances of this getting an emotional response out of you are slim.

Just what if someone came up to you and said "You smell bad".  Well, information technology'south however pretty ridiculous but y'all know what, we all do odor bad at times, and hey…there may exist a picayune bit of truth to that.  You might start to go a trivial bit defensive: "What?  I don't odour bad, what are you talking about?"

Now if nosotros look at a statement that is even farther forth the spectrum: "You are actually the most selfish person that I know.  All of your friends talk well-nigh you behind your back and say how selfish you are.  If y'all dropped dead tomorrow no one would care."  Now THAT is likely to get an emotional response!  Why?  Because in that location is some truth to it.  We all are a lilliputian selfish sometimes and remember well-nigh ourselves probably more than we should.  And, even though its unpleasant to think about, if we did drop dead tomorrow a lot of people wouldn't care!  Damnit, they're right and that pisses me off!  (An emotional response.)

Since I've learned this, information technology has played out to be truthful in my own life.  Whenever someone makes a comment that really gets to me, I'll end upward finding out (unremarkably much afterwards) that they were actually mostly right.  Think back to an example in your own life when a comment really got to yous personally.  Did it stop up beingness truthful?

How To Diffuse Whatever Criticism

Hopefully that gives y'all a little insight into criticism and when y'all should take information technology seriously.  Now lets focus on how to diffuse criticism that you don't want.

At the beginning I said that the secret to diffusing criticism is to agree with it.  I can hear you asking, "but Brian, what if the criticism actually is wrong??  I can't but agree with it!"

True, but you can do what I call "tacitly like-minded" or "indirect agreement".  You do this by maxim something like "thats a adept point, thanks for that" or "you know you're right, there might be some truth to that, I'll have to consider information technology".

Accept y'all actually agreed to anything?  No.  Simply you have taken the wind out of their sails.

Imagine for a moment someone giving a speech in front of a huge audience.  The speaker finishes and Q&A begins where the audience can enquire questions.  The first question comes from a very hostile listener who clearly disagrees with everything that has been said.  He or she begins their rant (disguised equally a question), very eager to have the stage for a moment, and begins to insult and criticize every notion that the speaker has brought upwardly.  The rest of the audience is silently thinking to themselves "wow this is really uncomfortable, this guy is really going at information technology".  Finally, the speaker has a hazard to reply.

There are really two ways he could respond, and I want you to think about what each response communicates to the audience.  The "subtext", if you volition.

The first response he could requite would be to fight dorsum against the questioner with equally much force every bit was used against him.  He could get upset and use words like "evidently, you don't sympathize the very basic premise of this concept if you're going to say that, what a ridiculous matter to say".  The audition would see his emotional response and call back "wow that really got to him, he lost his composure".  In the back of their minds they'll also be thinking "y'all know if he got that upset by information technology, maybe the guy was at to the lowest degree partially right, at present I'm not sure".

The 2d response he could requite would be to lengthened the criticism with tacit agreement.  "Yous know [slight laugh], that'southward a great indicate thank you for bringing that upwardly.  I'll have that under consideration.  Ok…next question over hither…"  In other words: treat it every bit if the guy had but said "Your name is Bubba Gump!"  It's non even worth answering.  Information technology's as if a child had said it.  The audience's perception is now the complete opposite: "wow that was actually embarrassing for the guy who just asked that ridiculous question, he looked like a full idiot".

Getting emotionally upset gives your power abroad to the criticizer.

Picket The Master Of This At Work: Donald Trump

Whether y'all love him or hate, the next time you see Donald Trump on some news prove, lookout a master of diffusing criticism at work.  One of the other guests volition normally track into him, calling him all sorts of bad things and accusing him of publicity stunts, business failures, and misogyny.  What is Trump's response?  He will usually tacitly concord and alter the subject, the whole time as cool equally a cucumber.  You'll never run across him get upset.

Someone could say "Mr. Trump is quite possibly 1 of the most dishonest people that I've seen in recent memory, he routinely exaggerates his business organisation dealings, and I know personally a number of people who will never deal with him again."

The host will then turn it dorsum over to Trump, and enquire for his response.  "That'south right Larry, I mean this is an exciting time for the New York real estate market, and information technology's great to encounter and then many new people getting involved, in that location is going to be a small fortune made over the next few years by smart investors."

The accuser is thinking "wait, what just happened?  I chosen him a liar and he is talking about real estate sounding and then happy.  He made me look like a whiny little kid.  Now I'one thousand upset!"  Meanwhile, the audience has all merely forgotten and is focused on something else.

When taking criticism…

• Tacitly agree and don't go upset (this is how you lose your ability)
• Remember that the more upset you get, the more likely they were right
• Don't argue dorsum, you lot're not convincing people of anything
• Finally, accept (and actively seek out) criticism from friends and mentors with an open up mind.  You'll find out things well-nigh yourself that everyone else has known for years but was besides afraid to tell you.

jensenheare1975.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-to-take-criticism-like-donald-trump.html

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